Life Throws Everyone a Curve

Finally, I come to that unmistakable time when I must admit it; I do not know how to cope with the unending list of changes which are threatening to destroy my last hopes of youthful endeavors. What the hell! I know my age is a factor but why does it have to hurt so bad to get old? I suppose getting old is the other side of the youth coin where we partied until way into the night without regard for the next day. Now, I am in bed by 9:30 pm. and I am up at 5:00 am. to greet a new day filled with more uncertainty. Is this how our fathers and mothers felt or am I just screwy?

I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong because I can't find things which are right in front of me. My vision is so fuzzy that I cannot read a persons name on a paper tag. I keep thinking if I can figure out their names, I can act like I really do remember them. I cannot stare at their name for more than a couple of seconds and I certainly cannot ask them their names but damn it would be nice if I knew them as well as they seem to know me.

For three days, I have looked for my digital camera. I really needed it a few times and it was not there for my use. I looked in every drawer at home, I checked my car several times and I inquired if my wife had any notion of where it lay. It bothered me because within the camera casing, there lived images of things I cannot remember but of which I wish to become re-aquainted with. Just when it looked like I would have to admit my loss, it reappeared. It had been riding in my compact car just underneath the brake handle. Didn't I look there before? Oh well, at least I can look at the pictures as soon as I find the little cord that hooks it up to my computer.

I do not recall anyone in my family having a tough time getting old. My mother was eighty-three when she died and I am proud to say, she grew old gracefully. She had her right mind right up to the very minute of her passing. I marveled at the grace of this woman who loved her children more than anyone I ever saw. In her old age, the only capitulation she allowed was in letting us do things for her instead of her doing for us. The one consellation I feel is that our ages are closer now than they ever have been before. I believe we may have some things in common now that I never knew before. She was always my greatest supporter; I wish she were here with me now. Still, I see her smile and when I feel lonely, I can feel her warm embrace. I still feel her love.

By my post, you would think I am the only one to become old. Well, it is my first experience with senior limitations. My ankles hurt and I have to sit every little while before the pain in my lower back throws me to the floor. Lets see here, I have meds for blood pressure, more for cholesterol, some for the old war injuries and finally something to help me sleep. If only I could afford the cure I bet I would never die.